Empty chair

We have reminders each day that you aren't with us. We have six chairs at our table. Five are filled. There is an empty seat each day in the car, waiting to be warmed. I catch myself glancing back to that seat as I drive and I can literally see your smiling face sitting in that chair.

You are totally visible - those are glances from God  himself. It makes my heart flutter to see you in that seat, even if you aren't  there in body. Those reminders that you aren't here are daunting, but His promises are true. Empty chairs are just painful. When I think about your chair being empty in China, I grieve and rejoice.  You will leave caretakers that love you, friends that are like brothers and sisters, your ethnic food, familiar smells, everything that was yours will be gone. Adoption is a huge loss all the way around - it isn't just rainbows and butterflies. You have already lost your birthparents and birth family, everyone at your home orphanage and now you will lose everything at your foster home. It is devastating. It is almost barbaric to celebrate this occasion, but there is a beautiful story that will happen once you are home and are attached to us. 



That empty chair in China that you will leave to fill your chairs here with your family will also be beautiful to see empty. This is such a strange mix of emotions. We cannot wait to sign those last papers in China and bring you home. I had started picking out which outfits to pack for China. I layed them out neatly on your bed.

They have been on your bed for about a week. This morning I was ready to take your brothers and sister to school and I couldn't find Eli and Ezra. I walked to the boy's room and across the hall I saw them both standing over your bed gently rubbing your clothes. I asked if they were ok and they both meekly replied they were ready for you to have a family.  We have so much love, sadness, grief and joy for you!  Our love crosses oceans! I have such a fear of flying 14 hours across that big ocean, but somehow with the help of God that fear has diminished.  We are keeping our eyes on the prize! We will have so much fun together!!! ❤️💕❤️ an adventure is about to happen...