This is a verse that has always blown me away. If you follow The Lord, love Him, believe in Him and live for Him, he will give when you ask.
It becomes so scary at times to put all our time, money, faith and heart into this process of adoption. It is daunting at times to let your guard down and put your heart into something that isn't one hundred percent going to happen. China has to say "yes" when we mail our Dossier to them. Our agency says our chances are "great"! "Great" still isn't 100%! Our agency is well-known for being honest, very honest. I prayed every night a month before mailing our application that this would happen and be His Will. I wanted Justin and I to raise a Christian little girl that was someday baptized and we were in the front row cheering. I wanted to see her face the first time she saw the ocean. I wanted to hear her brothers and sisters giggling with her. I wanted to hear her sing her first song in English. I wanted to be her defender when a playmate asks why her eyes are different or who her "real" mommy is. I wanted to teach her how to pray. I could go on and on with my thoughts. When we finally turned our application in, I made up my mind to block "her" out. I needed to not get attached in case something went wrong. I just couldn't stand the thought of "losing" her. She was in my heart, but I had to get her out! I almost made the decision and then it hit me. She deserves my heart. She deserves every piece of my heart. If something happens, I can hurt! If she is going to be a Williams I choose to love her before I meet her. God loved me before he made Me and I can do the same. In my daily activities, I think of her, right along with my other three children. Today at preschool, we played a soft CD of baby praise songs while the children played. "Awesome God" came on and I really fought back the tears. That song will forever mean many things to me. In Arizona, that was one of 4-5 contemporary songs we taught the Indians at worship. I will never forget them praising His name with such passion and hope. The Navajos gave me the passion and hope as well. They, through Christ, changed my life. My walk is so different and closer. I hope next year when we reunite, I draw even more near. That same hope is in the hearts of the orphans, all 147 million of them. They deserve our whole heart, just as Jesus deserves all of ours.
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