For this child I have prayed.

Everyone is tucked in and I laid down only to be so unsettled. Now I am at the kitchen table. Only 52 hours until we are finally driving away from our house to board a plane to you. My heart is so torn with leaving my babies here to bring you, my newest baby, home. I have been restless with excitement, worry, nervousness and heartache the past few days more than ever. So many things going on in my head and I cannot turn it off. 

Nothing matters as long as you will be in our arms.

 This journey has been a lot like my three pregnancies. I promise there are adoption hormones! 😜 The day is finally almost here. Unbelievable. You will only be an orphan for another week! 

As I was walking to my car from Walmart this week, I was thinking about unknown battles people face and no one knows when you pass them on the street. God sees it all. Amazing. People suffering from drug addictions, alcohol addictions, loss of a loved one, financial problems, unhealthy marriage, guilt, etc.   I almost broke down in the parking lot crying, but Inmade it to my car! I thanked God right there for saving me. I was a sick, yucky person before my walk with Christ. I'm still a sinner and you will see that unfortunately. 

What is amazing is that I was adopted. Jesus adopted me as a daughter. I had read that scripture before, but never really  thought about it deeply until we started to adopt. My friend that just adopted texted me that verse and I couldn't believe I had read it before, but never fully applied it.  I can't wait to hold you on my lap at church ... CHURCH.. A place you've never been.  You get to fully worship and learn how to. I can't wait to teach you everything I know. You are so loved. Only a little while longer and I will never have to dream about you, but  only tell you goodnight. I can't wait to see that little head of dark hair peeking out from underneath the covers in a deep slumber.   I can't wait to wake you up with tickles and kisses while singing "Rise and Shine".  Everything will be such an adventure and nothing will be taken for granted.  I've loved you even when you were just a dream;  a beautiful dream that was so unreachable, yet here we are. I feel like Hannah. I prayed for you for so long and here you are. You are about to be delivered into my arms, not as a blue screaming baby, but a gentle, young lady with a sparkle in your eye. I will "turn you over" to God as Hannah did Samuel. I will teach you how to serve your neighbor, love everyone, and try to help you to be much better than I. That is my promise. 

                     Until we meet, 

                             ❤️❤️Mommy❤️❤️